Imagination is horrid thing. Its can create many different emotions in a person. The ones I’ve caused in myself have made me a little more insane than I’d want to be. Its hard dealing with things you’re not sure how to feel about.

I feel betrayed. No matter what really happen, I feel that way. I’m supposed to be that guy she feels the most comfortable around; the guy she tells everything to. I was, or at least I thought I was.

Over the past year, she began to get closer and closer to a friend of mine. I don’t mind them being friends, or even good friends, but I have a problem when it gets to a point where she talks to him more than me. That’s just my assumption though. I assume many things about their relationship, most of which probably aren’t true. I can’t, and will never, know how much they really talk. I can’t, and will never, know what they talk about when I’m not around. I can’t, and will never, know what they do when I’m not around. I can only believe what they tell me, or what I conjure up in my mind. Which one, is the hard part. Even harder when what they tell me goes along with what I imagine. I don’t like how close they’ve become. But maybe that’s part of the problem.

So I feel torn. What do I believe?

Maybe that isn’t even the problem. I kind of feel like if I was good enough; if I payed more attention that maybe I wouldn’t be feeling like I am now. I really don’t think I’m good enough sometimes, and maybe thats the real problem. It really is an imagination at work; such a horrid imagination.

So how do I get past something like that?